What is Love?
I've heard it said that love isn't just a noun, it's also a verb. That is so true.
It's easy to say I love you to someone but it may be hard to show that love.
When you say I love you to someone, do you just say it in passing? Mean it? Prove it?
I know I'm probably stepping on toes but this has been on my heart for a while.
When someone feels unloved they deal with a lot of different emotions at one time. Indifference is the same as not loving someone to me.
Love is a choice. You can choose to show love or choose to show dislike. Whichever you choose can make or break someone's day.
I just hope that everyday I am able to show my husband and my children that I love them and not just say it to them.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Crazy life
The start if this school year has been a whirlwind.
Alexis got a job right before summer ended and is now juggling school, homework and work.
Autumn wanted to get back into tumbling so she's prepared for high school cheerleading. And also wanted to take a contemporary dance class. And now she's helping teach a dance class too.
My girls like to keep me busy (which I normally don't mind). But there was a lot going on the first few weeks that we are trying to get back into routine for school.
I love that my kids have different interests and are involved in more than just sitting at home playing video games. Alexis is in drama at school and is a wonderful actress. I'm looking forward to watching her in the plays at school. And looking forward to Autumn's recital at the end of the year.
Just a little taste of the craziness that has become my life this month. Hopefully it will slow down soon. :-)
Alexis got a job right before summer ended and is now juggling school, homework and work.
Autumn wanted to get back into tumbling so she's prepared for high school cheerleading. And also wanted to take a contemporary dance class. And now she's helping teach a dance class too.
My girls like to keep me busy (which I normally don't mind). But there was a lot going on the first few weeks that we are trying to get back into routine for school.
I love that my kids have different interests and are involved in more than just sitting at home playing video games. Alexis is in drama at school and is a wonderful actress. I'm looking forward to watching her in the plays at school. And looking forward to Autumn's recital at the end of the year.
Just a little taste of the craziness that has become my life this month. Hopefully it will slow down soon. :-)
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Respect
What is respect?
We are taught from a young age to respect our elders, parents, friends, belongings, etc. But what do you do when you get disrespected all the time?
Should you be disrespected for what you wear? How young you look?
I have been dealing with people disrespecting me because of my age for as long as I can remember. It's tough being a young mom as it is and being told what I should wear and how I should raise my kids bothers me. I thought by now in my life that people would see me as a peer not a child that they have to talk down to.
My feeling with respect is: you give respect to earn respect. It's hard to show respect to someone who treats you horrible or indifferent. I know that you're supposed to treat people the way you want to be treated but that is a hard thing to do.
This is one thing in my life that I need to work on.
We are taught from a young age to respect our elders, parents, friends, belongings, etc. But what do you do when you get disrespected all the time?
Should you be disrespected for what you wear? How young you look?
I have been dealing with people disrespecting me because of my age for as long as I can remember. It's tough being a young mom as it is and being told what I should wear and how I should raise my kids bothers me. I thought by now in my life that people would see me as a peer not a child that they have to talk down to.
My feeling with respect is: you give respect to earn respect. It's hard to show respect to someone who treats you horrible or indifferent. I know that you're supposed to treat people the way you want to be treated but that is a hard thing to do.
This is one thing in my life that I need to work on.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
NYC fun
This past weekend Alexis, Sharon and I went to NYC. This was Alexis' 16th birthday present. We flew up early Friday morning (which was hard for me since I haven't flown in a long time). The plane had tvs on the back of every seat so it made it a little less scary to be on the plane. We landed in NYC early and hopped into our very first taxi cab. I have heard how bad the taxis drive but wasn't really prepared for the experience. We got to our beautiful hotel and checked in, left our bags with the bellman and headed out to explore the city. We walked to Times Square and I have to say that it was amazing. We enjoyed looking at all the different buildings. I love how there's a modern building next to an older building with lots of character. It was soon lunch so we stopped in a little cafe to eat something. Headed out for more exploring. In the afternoon we went back to the hotel to rest up for the broadway show we were going to that night. We got to experience real New York style pizza and I have to say that it was delicious. That night we walked down to the Gershwin Theater to see Wicked. Alexis was beyond excited to see that play. She is a drama kid through and through so a broadway show is right up her alley. Amazing show!!! And when we left the city was all lit up and it's definitely breathtaking.
Saturday, we rode a subway for the first time. Alexis didn't really enjoy the ride so when we got off at Grand Central Station we got a taxi to the museum. She wanted to go to the Museum of Natural History (you know the one from Night of the Museum). Spent a few hours exploring in there and then walked through Central Park to get back to our hotel. We stopped in Central Park and Alexis asked to get her face drawn by one of those street people that draw characters of people. It was a nice relaxing time just sitting watching all the different kinds of people in New York. Made it back to the hotel and rested some more.
Sunday, we made sure we got up and left the hotel in time to get to Serendipity. It's one of those places that you need to be there early and stand in line to eat at. We decided on ice cream for lunch, because that's how we roll when on vaca. I had the best hot fudge sundae ever there. Alexis enjoyed the whole experience there. After we ate she was ready to head home so we headed to the airport. We arrived home and have been smiling ever since.
It was a magical experience to spend a weekend with my beautiful teen and Sharon. I will never forget this trip.
Saturday, we rode a subway for the first time. Alexis didn't really enjoy the ride so when we got off at Grand Central Station we got a taxi to the museum. She wanted to go to the Museum of Natural History (you know the one from Night of the Museum). Spent a few hours exploring in there and then walked through Central Park to get back to our hotel. We stopped in Central Park and Alexis asked to get her face drawn by one of those street people that draw characters of people. It was a nice relaxing time just sitting watching all the different kinds of people in New York. Made it back to the hotel and rested some more.
Sunday, we made sure we got up and left the hotel in time to get to Serendipity. It's one of those places that you need to be there early and stand in line to eat at. We decided on ice cream for lunch, because that's how we roll when on vaca. I had the best hot fudge sundae ever there. Alexis enjoyed the whole experience there. After we ate she was ready to head home so we headed to the airport. We arrived home and have been smiling ever since.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Fun vacation
We just got back from a great weekend at Discovery Cove in Orlando. We were so excited to go because we've never been there before. We've been to Disney a lot, Islands of Adventure a few times, Universal and Sea World. All the different theme parks are fun but this is definitely different. The cost of the experience is worth it!! We rented a house about 20 minutes away from Discovery Cove and drove to the park. We were close enough to Disney that we were able to go into Downtown Disney a couple of times for our favorite treat, Ghiradelli ice cream. Yes, when we are on vacation we have ice cream for dinner.
The whole weekend was a surprise for my uncle Dave who was turning 55. I don't remember ever going on a family trip with him so I was really excited to spend a whole weekend with him and his girlfriend, Ceil. He had no idea that we had this planned.
Friday afternoon we showed up at his house and when he got off work just drove to Orlando. The house we stayed in was really nice and had a screened in pool.
Saturday morning we got up pretty early and got to the park by 8:10am. We wanted to get a good time for our dolphin experience. We check in and are given lanyards with picture ID's to wear all day. We proceeded to go inside and saw a two-toed sloth. I've never seen one of those up close and personal. There were photographers that take your picture when we first come inside. We then got lockers and either wetsuits or vests to wear. Let me say that the water is pretty chilly. Our dolphin experience was so wonderful that it's hard to describe. After we were worn out from a full day there, my uncle, Ceil and dad went to the Jax Sharks game in Orlando. It was really neat that they were playing down there the weekend we are there.
Sunday we got up and went to Aquatica. I have to say that was a cool waterpark to go to. I love our waterpark here but that one was bigger and some crazy rides. We rode almost everything and some things multiple times. Aquatica had an option on their website to order a picnic lunch for a family for an awesome price. So we ordered that and didn't have to worry about standing in line for food or spending a lot of money. We definitely wore ourselves out being in the sun and water all day that day too.
This was an unforgettable weekend for our whole family. And summer has just started so there are more trips to enjoy and new experiences to be had.
The whole weekend was a surprise for my uncle Dave who was turning 55. I don't remember ever going on a family trip with him so I was really excited to spend a whole weekend with him and his girlfriend, Ceil. He had no idea that we had this planned.
Friday afternoon we showed up at his house and when he got off work just drove to Orlando. The house we stayed in was really nice and had a screened in pool.
Saturday morning we got up pretty early and got to the park by 8:10am. We wanted to get a good time for our dolphin experience. We check in and are given lanyards with picture ID's to wear all day. We proceeded to go inside and saw a two-toed sloth. I've never seen one of those up close and personal. There were photographers that take your picture when we first come inside. We then got lockers and either wetsuits or vests to wear. Let me say that the water is pretty chilly. Our dolphin experience was so wonderful that it's hard to describe. After we were worn out from a full day there, my uncle, Ceil and dad went to the Jax Sharks game in Orlando. It was really neat that they were playing down there the weekend we are there.
Sunday we got up and went to Aquatica. I have to say that was a cool waterpark to go to. I love our waterpark here but that one was bigger and some crazy rides. We rode almost everything and some things multiple times. Aquatica had an option on their website to order a picnic lunch for a family for an awesome price. So we ordered that and didn't have to worry about standing in line for food or spending a lot of money. We definitely wore ourselves out being in the sun and water all day that day too.
This was an unforgettable weekend for our whole family. And summer has just started so there are more trips to enjoy and new experiences to be had.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Date Night
In our experience few things recharge your marital batteries like a night out together to a favorite restaurant. All the books, experts and classes always stress keeping a date night together and they are basically right. For us though there are a few key factors that can maximize the benefits.
1) If one of you is a planner by nature then put it on the calendar in advance.
There are people who like to wander about without a plan and people who need to know what is coming so they can prepare. If one of you needs to plan then plan or your date night will suffer.
2) Go somewhere to eat and have a drink to loosen up and talk without stress, competition or distraction
Activities together is a good idea, movies are great but for us it doesn't seem to have the same bang for your buck. Its amazing how an appetizer and a drink makes everything better so we try to start there unless we are starving and already know what we want to eat.
3) Get food to share.. appetizers, or split a big dinner.
Sometimes the only thing to talk about is your day or what happened at work and having good or bad food shared provides an instant topic that lets you get out of the daily grind together easily.
4) Have a few favorite places where you know how busy they are, where to park and what is good on menu
You don't want to try a new restaurant on every date night cause the idea is relaxing and enjoying each other, and having an understanding of each place, when to go and what to order is shared tribal knowledge between the two of you that brings you close together and keeps the date easy and fun.
5) Business casual??
This is a tough one because there are so many factors, however we have noticed that dressing up can cause extra stress and make things less fun, or it can make the night feel special. In general we dress for the place we are going and every 4th or 5th date dress a little nicer if we feel like it.
6) To phone or not to phone
We both have smart phones and are constantly checking them when not on a date and it is hard to put them down for any extended period of time so we have unwritten rules around them for dinner. Checking in on Facebook to brag about being out is acceptable, but checking emails, sending messages or browsing the web are taboo
7) People watching
This may just be us but we try to sit near windows, outside or in main traffic areas. Sometimes talking about your relationship and feelings get old and its fun to just watch other people and make comments to each other.
8) Clear understanding of what does and does not constitute a date
This one sounds strange until you talk about it together and realize that it may not be clear. For us, if we go out, spend money without bringing home anything of substance and stay out more than an hour it pretty much counts as a date. Again our most successful dates follow the 8 guidelines above though.
Happy Dating - Us
1) If one of you is a planner by nature then put it on the calendar in advance.
There are people who like to wander about without a plan and people who need to know what is coming so they can prepare. If one of you needs to plan then plan or your date night will suffer.
2) Go somewhere to eat and have a drink to loosen up and talk without stress, competition or distraction
Activities together is a good idea, movies are great but for us it doesn't seem to have the same bang for your buck. Its amazing how an appetizer and a drink makes everything better so we try to start there unless we are starving and already know what we want to eat.
3) Get food to share.. appetizers, or split a big dinner.
Sometimes the only thing to talk about is your day or what happened at work and having good or bad food shared provides an instant topic that lets you get out of the daily grind together easily.
4) Have a few favorite places where you know how busy they are, where to park and what is good on menu
You don't want to try a new restaurant on every date night cause the idea is relaxing and enjoying each other, and having an understanding of each place, when to go and what to order is shared tribal knowledge between the two of you that brings you close together and keeps the date easy and fun.
5) Business casual??
This is a tough one because there are so many factors, however we have noticed that dressing up can cause extra stress and make things less fun, or it can make the night feel special. In general we dress for the place we are going and every 4th or 5th date dress a little nicer if we feel like it.
6) To phone or not to phone
We both have smart phones and are constantly checking them when not on a date and it is hard to put them down for any extended period of time so we have unwritten rules around them for dinner. Checking in on Facebook to brag about being out is acceptable, but checking emails, sending messages or browsing the web are taboo
7) People watching
This may just be us but we try to sit near windows, outside or in main traffic areas. Sometimes talking about your relationship and feelings get old and its fun to just watch other people and make comments to each other.
8) Clear understanding of what does and does not constitute a date
This one sounds strange until you talk about it together and realize that it may not be clear. For us, if we go out, spend money without bringing home anything of substance and stay out more than an hour it pretty much counts as a date. Again our most successful dates follow the 8 guidelines above though.
Happy Dating - Us
Friday, April 15, 2011
Money Matters
We like most people acquired more debt and recurring bills than we would have liked before the economic bubble burst. Our plan had been to run up some debt, then sell our house to pay it off the way we had done once before. Unfortunately with the economic downturn our home value dropped to less than we owed, our credit card companies decided to double our interest rates and minimum payment percentages, and everything from gas to groceries were substantially more expensive nearly overnight. At first it was pretty scary and we had a hard time covering the upswing in cash going out the door. We cut non essential bills right away, stopped going out and buying new things, but were still losing ground. Our next step was to call our credit companies and negotiate payment plans to reduce our monthly bills, followed by cancelling our home phone, reducing our cable/internet costs and reducing spending on food by switching grocery stores. There are a lot of resources that tell you what to do when you are in this situation that are more comprehensive, but this worked for us and we are substantially better off today than we were as little as a year ago, and we did not increase our debt with new loans, refinance, file bankruptcy or default on our mortgage or any other payments due. During this time we did everything we could to supplement our income also, but there simply weren't many options.
This is what we did to get out of the hole:
1. If you call your credit card company and ask for a payment plan they will set one up for you. Not one of them said no, and most allowed for a 5 year plan with no interest. The payment plan sets up automated payments from your bank account with a lower amount than your normal payment and yet pays more principle than if you just paid your minimum amount. We reduced our monthly bills by about 20% just by this first step, and since have paid off more debt than we did over 2-3 years of regular payments.
2. We started planning our meals, and were more careful about where we bought groceries. This simple process saved us between $200-300 a month that we could use to pay down debt. We also started packing lunches for work rather than buying them.
3. We turned off the home phone ($50) which we never used anyway, changed internet providers($15), changed cable/satellite ($40) and raised the A/C temp by a degree or two. Total savings was around $150 a month.
4. We did still go out some, but looked for deals. $1 slice night at our favorite pizza place replaced the night on the town at a $20 a plate restaurant. $5 movies are still one of our favorite outings for our family of 4. Netflix also is an outstanding deal for us since we love movies. We replaced buying 2 DVDs a month @ $40 with a $18 a month account that gives us 2 blu-rays at a time and unlimited instant movie downloads.
5. We used cash windfalls, extra money & checks, like tax returns or year end bonuses to pay off debt instead of spending them.
6. We also put money in savings. Not as much as we used to pay debt, but we felt to reduce the risk of recurrence this was necessary. This was pretty easy with a program that our bank has available that moves money into savings every time you use your check card or pay bills online (so we saved a lot) and allows for regular movements of money into savings also on a monthly basis.
7. We went on vacation to visit a relatives house instead of to an expensive hotel and theme park. Of course this relatives house is like a B&B so it wasn't much of a sacrifice but it did save us a bundle.
All these changes, discipline to pay down our debt and a few temporarily drastic changes to our spending really turned things around for us, and have really opened our minds to how being a little more careful about how we spend actually increases our options instead of reduce them. A lot of these changes became habits and even though we are in a different place today we still follow them.
This is what we did to get out of the hole:
1. If you call your credit card company and ask for a payment plan they will set one up for you. Not one of them said no, and most allowed for a 5 year plan with no interest. The payment plan sets up automated payments from your bank account with a lower amount than your normal payment and yet pays more principle than if you just paid your minimum amount. We reduced our monthly bills by about 20% just by this first step, and since have paid off more debt than we did over 2-3 years of regular payments.
2. We started planning our meals, and were more careful about where we bought groceries. This simple process saved us between $200-300 a month that we could use to pay down debt. We also started packing lunches for work rather than buying them.
3. We turned off the home phone ($50) which we never used anyway, changed internet providers($15), changed cable/satellite ($40) and raised the A/C temp by a degree or two. Total savings was around $150 a month.
4. We did still go out some, but looked for deals. $1 slice night at our favorite pizza place replaced the night on the town at a $20 a plate restaurant. $5 movies are still one of our favorite outings for our family of 4. Netflix also is an outstanding deal for us since we love movies. We replaced buying 2 DVDs a month @ $40 with a $18 a month account that gives us 2 blu-rays at a time and unlimited instant movie downloads.
5. We used cash windfalls, extra money & checks, like tax returns or year end bonuses to pay off debt instead of spending them.
6. We also put money in savings. Not as much as we used to pay debt, but we felt to reduce the risk of recurrence this was necessary. This was pretty easy with a program that our bank has available that moves money into savings every time you use your check card or pay bills online (so we saved a lot) and allows for regular movements of money into savings also on a monthly basis.
7. We went on vacation to visit a relatives house instead of to an expensive hotel and theme park. Of course this relatives house is like a B&B so it wasn't much of a sacrifice but it did save us a bundle.
All these changes, discipline to pay down our debt and a few temporarily drastic changes to our spending really turned things around for us, and have really opened our minds to how being a little more careful about how we spend actually increases our options instead of reduce them. A lot of these changes became habits and even though we are in a different place today we still follow them.
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