We have heard that there is an old saying that you can count your closest friends on one hand. We have found that for good friends it is generally less than that. Sure we know and associate with lots of people. People we work with, go to church with, neighbors, parents of our children's friends etc. On Facebook we are friends with hundreds of people and we are fairly picky about who we friend online. But theres a big difference between people you know and true friends.
For us it has been especially difficult finding and holding onto friends who are married, at a similar point in life, similar age, economic status with similar interests and ideals. Often we find a couple where we like one individual and not the other, or where their age is similar but their children are much younger. Having started so early with our kids its difficult to find couples with teenagers who are still in their 30s.
We are thankful for the great friends we have now, and despite our very busy lives we work hard to try and keep in touch with them and spend time together. Good friends are invaluable for helping us keep perspective, slow us down from our busy lives and remind us that sometimes its fun just to hang out and talk with good people.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Raising Kids
The topic of raising children, and the "best" way to do so was in the air this week and so we are writing about it...
Raising children is something that everyone has an opinion about and we are no different. We have observed some people who in our opinion over-shelter their children making it difficult for them to transition into adulthood and others seem to let their children do whatever they want. Like most things we believe that balance, environment, the child's personality and circumstance should be considered when raising children.
For instance, some people will never let their children go to public school for fear of exposing them to beliefs, cultures, actions, words or ideals that do not align with their own. We believe firmly that while the content that a child is exposed to should be regulated carefully, there is a point where a child needs to be able to put into practice the restraints taught to them at home and so in their middle/high school years, our children have attended public schools. We know people who are firmly against this practice for plenty of reasons, and we agree it may not be for everyone, but it is working for us.
As a mostly private school/home schooled child, and one who was carefully guarded from music, movies, words, and beliefs that did not align with my families values I was grossly unprepared for the environment in a public high school, college or workplace. Entry into the new environments from my carefully built and managed bubble created fear, made it difficult to make friends and ultimately led to some rebellion against my parents. My wife on the other hand attended public school her entire life, and had less restrictive but engaged parents. Her story is quite different, and she seemed much more able to handle the environment in high school and after with less difficulty. You could say she was better prepared for real life than I was.
Our children now are 13 and 16, well rounded, educated, polite and able to make good decisions on their own even under difficult circumstances. They are in fact, better than we were at the same ages.
When they were younger, we child-proofed our house, then we house-proofed our children, and now we are in the process of world proofing them, not by preventing them from seeing the world as it is, but by allowing open dialog, monitored exposure and new experiences to teach our children how to live.
Raising children is something that everyone has an opinion about and we are no different. We have observed some people who in our opinion over-shelter their children making it difficult for them to transition into adulthood and others seem to let their children do whatever they want. Like most things we believe that balance, environment, the child's personality and circumstance should be considered when raising children.
For instance, some people will never let their children go to public school for fear of exposing them to beliefs, cultures, actions, words or ideals that do not align with their own. We believe firmly that while the content that a child is exposed to should be regulated carefully, there is a point where a child needs to be able to put into practice the restraints taught to them at home and so in their middle/high school years, our children have attended public schools. We know people who are firmly against this practice for plenty of reasons, and we agree it may not be for everyone, but it is working for us.
As a mostly private school/home schooled child, and one who was carefully guarded from music, movies, words, and beliefs that did not align with my families values I was grossly unprepared for the environment in a public high school, college or workplace. Entry into the new environments from my carefully built and managed bubble created fear, made it difficult to make friends and ultimately led to some rebellion against my parents. My wife on the other hand attended public school her entire life, and had less restrictive but engaged parents. Her story is quite different, and she seemed much more able to handle the environment in high school and after with less difficulty. You could say she was better prepared for real life than I was.
Our children now are 13 and 16, well rounded, educated, polite and able to make good decisions on their own even under difficult circumstances. They are in fact, better than we were at the same ages.
When they were younger, we child-proofed our house, then we house-proofed our children, and now we are in the process of world proofing them, not by preventing them from seeing the world as it is, but by allowing open dialog, monitored exposure and new experiences to teach our children how to live.
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