There truly no substitute for experience, but only the right experience. We have worked with and known individuals who have worked the same job, performed the same function, lived in the same place and basically lived within the same small radius their entire life. In some ways, doing the same thing for that long makes you an expert in the details that go along with the daily grind of living and working. The benefit however only comes into play if that expertise can be taught, shared or ported to another similar circumstance. We have both worked at different places, doing different things, some as laborers, some with technology, some as leaders, for non profits, private companies, public enterprises and everything in between and here is what we have learned:
Doing something for a long time doesn't necessarily make you an expert, but never having done something does make you a rookie.
Experience in a lot of different things can make you more agile, flexible and better at problem solving than someone who has a ton of experience at doing one thing.
Just because someone hasn't done something before doesn't mean they won't be able to match people who have been doing it a long time. Sometimes a fresh perspective and an individual with varied experience will tackle tasks in more efficient ways never thought of by those who have been doing them for a long time.
There are some things that one needs to do repetitively for a very long time to be an expert. Playing the cello for instance is not something where you can use prior experience unless it is with related musical instruments.
Most people learn more by doing than by reading, writing or listening about how to do something.
With this in mind our philosophy is to purposely find new things to gain experience in. If we don't pick them up well or find the knowledge gained easily applied elsewhere then we try something else. Some things that are worth the effort we stick with for the long haul, but don't try to do that with everything. Musical instruments are one of the things that take a lot of time and patience and an example of a longer term commitment to gaining experience. Being well rounded has consistently turned out to be of more benefit to us than being an expert in a single thing. Unfortunately we learned this concept by living life rather than in school where life lessons are often overlooked in favor of focused learning on specific concepts.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
More About Us
Barry and I met when I was a Junior in high school. You could call us high school sweethearts but only I was in high school. Barry was in college at the time. We dated through the summer and my Senior year. We married 2 weeks after I graduated from high school. I was 17 years old at the time, which made him my legal guardian. And let me say that was really weird to have your spouse as your guardian. I turned 18 4 months after we were married. 2 months later we had our beautiful baby girl, Alexis. It was rough being a teen mom. All my friends disappeared from my life. Which left me no one to talk to or confide in. I went through a lot of loneliness and sadness during this time. Then God brought me a few moms that were able to speak into my life and treat me like an adult. I had to grow up very fast and handle grown up decisions and problems, like jobs, paying bills, finding a place to live, grocery shopping, laundry, etc. People have a habit of judging teen moms and dads as slackers but I wasn't a slacker with my child. Even when we lived with my parents they made sure that Barry and I were the caregivers of our daughter. 3 years after we had our first daughter we were blessed with another beautiful baby girl, Autumn. We have worked very hard to provide for our girls and take care of ourselves. We are so thankful for all the help we were given during the times that our girls were little and even now.
We named our blog "older than we look" because we still have people look at us funny when we say we have a 16 year old. We are old enough to have a child that age and wish people wouldn't give us the crazy looks. I know we look young but we aren't as young as we look.
We named our blog "older than we look" because we still have people look at us funny when we say we have a 16 year old. We are old enough to have a child that age and wish people wouldn't give us the crazy looks. I know we look young but we aren't as young as we look.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
The Rule of 3
The rule of 3 is simple and finite.
When entertaining girls at your home or sending yours to someone else's, avoid odd numbers if at all possible. There is a phenomenon that occurs when girls are not evenly paired together that causes friction and inevitable hurt feelings within minutes of any gathering. The effects are lessened by a few factors such as the distraction of a large social gathering like a birthday party, however odd numbers can create an issue even in large groups if the girls are not properly distracted.
We know what you are thinking. Not my girls or their friends. True that personalities and upbringing are valid factors extending the time of peace, however the rule of 3 has proven that it is only a matter of time before an issue occurs.
We believe that the root cause is that girls require complete attention from one another, and that having 3 requires one girl to focus more on one than another leaving someone feeling left out. Girls of course are accutely aware of the priority or lack there of, and immediately take offense. Unlike boys who simply fight it out, the left out girl will mope, complain, whine to their parent, or the one present and may even cry. The other girls will often lash out at this behavior by bullying the outcast girl and making things escalate further. Parental involvement often will not solve the issue, and may begin a parental feud over who's children are at fault.
It is best to avoid this situation altogether as there is no winning once the problem has started.
The bottom line is 2 girls is good, 4 girls works even better somehow, and 3 should be avoided at all costs. At 5 or 7 make sure you keep them occupied with party games, singing, a camera or some other diversion for safety. On rare occasion a set of 3 for a short duration can work, however even the best friendships will be tested in this scenario, and what is one more girl really.
Our experience has only been with girls and so we are not sure if it applies to boys or not, but we doubt it. The entire issue seems to be the way girls are wired and communicate with one another when there aren't a lot of outside distractions.
This post may seem negative towards girls, however we prefer them to boys and have thoroughly enjoyed raising ours. We hope that the rule of 3 saves you grief, pain and tears.
When entertaining girls at your home or sending yours to someone else's, avoid odd numbers if at all possible. There is a phenomenon that occurs when girls are not evenly paired together that causes friction and inevitable hurt feelings within minutes of any gathering. The effects are lessened by a few factors such as the distraction of a large social gathering like a birthday party, however odd numbers can create an issue even in large groups if the girls are not properly distracted.
We know what you are thinking. Not my girls or their friends. True that personalities and upbringing are valid factors extending the time of peace, however the rule of 3 has proven that it is only a matter of time before an issue occurs.
We believe that the root cause is that girls require complete attention from one another, and that having 3 requires one girl to focus more on one than another leaving someone feeling left out. Girls of course are accutely aware of the priority or lack there of, and immediately take offense. Unlike boys who simply fight it out, the left out girl will mope, complain, whine to their parent, or the one present and may even cry. The other girls will often lash out at this behavior by bullying the outcast girl and making things escalate further. Parental involvement often will not solve the issue, and may begin a parental feud over who's children are at fault.
It is best to avoid this situation altogether as there is no winning once the problem has started.
The bottom line is 2 girls is good, 4 girls works even better somehow, and 3 should be avoided at all costs. At 5 or 7 make sure you keep them occupied with party games, singing, a camera or some other diversion for safety. On rare occasion a set of 3 for a short duration can work, however even the best friendships will be tested in this scenario, and what is one more girl really.
Our experience has only been with girls and so we are not sure if it applies to boys or not, but we doubt it. The entire issue seems to be the way girls are wired and communicate with one another when there aren't a lot of outside distractions.
This post may seem negative towards girls, however we prefer them to boys and have thoroughly enjoyed raising ours. We hope that the rule of 3 saves you grief, pain and tears.
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