In our experience few things recharge your marital batteries like a night out together to a favorite restaurant. All the books, experts and classes always stress keeping a date night together and they are basically right. For us though there are a few key factors that can maximize the benefits.
1) If one of you is a planner by nature then put it on the calendar in advance.
There are people who like to wander about without a plan and people who need to know what is coming so they can prepare. If one of you needs to plan then plan or your date night will suffer.
2) Go somewhere to eat and have a drink to loosen up and talk without stress, competition or distraction
Activities together is a good idea, movies are great but for us it doesn't seem to have the same bang for your buck. Its amazing how an appetizer and a drink makes everything better so we try to start there unless we are starving and already know what we want to eat.
3) Get food to share.. appetizers, or split a big dinner.
Sometimes the only thing to talk about is your day or what happened at work and having good or bad food shared provides an instant topic that lets you get out of the daily grind together easily.
4) Have a few favorite places where you know how busy they are, where to park and what is good on menu
You don't want to try a new restaurant on every date night cause the idea is relaxing and enjoying each other, and having an understanding of each place, when to go and what to order is shared tribal knowledge between the two of you that brings you close together and keeps the date easy and fun.
5) Business casual??
This is a tough one because there are so many factors, however we have noticed that dressing up can cause extra stress and make things less fun, or it can make the night feel special. In general we dress for the place we are going and every 4th or 5th date dress a little nicer if we feel like it.
6) To phone or not to phone
We both have smart phones and are constantly checking them when not on a date and it is hard to put them down for any extended period of time so we have unwritten rules around them for dinner. Checking in on Facebook to brag about being out is acceptable, but checking emails, sending messages or browsing the web are taboo
7) People watching
This may just be us but we try to sit near windows, outside or in main traffic areas. Sometimes talking about your relationship and feelings get old and its fun to just watch other people and make comments to each other.
8) Clear understanding of what does and does not constitute a date
This one sounds strange until you talk about it together and realize that it may not be clear. For us, if we go out, spend money without bringing home anything of substance and stay out more than an hour it pretty much counts as a date. Again our most successful dates follow the 8 guidelines above though.
Happy Dating - Us
